health relationships

Letters to papi (No. 3)

Daily letters to my father, documenting his journey while he fights for his life against Covid-19 in English & Spanish. Cartas diarias a mi padre, documentando su lucha por su vida contra Covid-19 en inglés y español.

Dearest padre,

Before I get into today’s update. I want to say that I love you so much. Today is a beautiful autumnal Tuesday with a chill light breeze so gently swaying the trees from outside my window making them move so gracefully. The skies are partly cloudy with just enough sunlight to create shadows. The weather reminds me of the time that we took a road trip to Oregon to visit Tia Glenda. l’m so glad we got to experience that trip together, it took for that trip for me to fall in love with Oregon. The weather is perfect for me. I will forever be grateful for that road trip & I will cherrish that memory. Remember that is also the time I really learned how to drive on the freeway. I was so terrified but you gave me confidence and I learned. Thank you for that papi. I wonder what you’re dreaming about at this moment, what are you feeling? Are you blissful or tormented in a subconscious level? I guess if we get the opportunity to talk one day you can tell me all about it.

I called your doctor today at my usual time a little pass 2:30 my time. He greeted me and didn’t give me the best news. It turns out that the surgeon advised against the tracheotomy at this time. You’re too critical for that procedure. You’re blood pressure is not doing well without help from your medication along with your heart, you also have carbon dioxide building up in your blood that’s not good, that means that you need more help from the ventilator to get rid of it, this is not the first time it has happened either, lastly they are going to check for new infections. This was disheartening news it hit me like a ton of bricks but I still have hope for your recovery these are just one of your bad days.

I don’t know what else to say, as I sit here next your grandson that just fell asleep for his late afternoon nap, perhaps you’re just as peaceful in your sleep right now as your grandson. I shouldn’t take on the worry and uncertainty right now. I’ll just take it for what it is, it’s a down day for you. It’s all in Gods plan.

Love always,

Your daughter

I'm a Honduran & Cuban second generation Latina, born & raised in Long Beach, Ca. I write to heal my inner woes and to release my creative energy into the universe, in the process my hope is to inspire & help others. I’m a advocate for mental health & autism awareness. I love coffee, a sweet red wine, a good read and creating memories with my loved ones.

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