mental health relationships

Letters to papi (No. 1)

Daily letters to my father, documenting his journey while he fights for his life against Covid-19 in English & Spanish. Cartas diarias a mi padre, documentando su lucha por su vida contra Covid-19 en inglés y español.

My dearest papi,

I decided to write a letter a day to you, my hope is that you come out of the hospital and you can read all the ups and downs of your journey from fighting Covid-19. This will also be an opportunity for us to share our story to the world. The idea actually came yesterday it was your birthday and you turned 72, it was very bitter & sweet for all of us.

As I write this letter you are currently in the hospital on a ventilator fighting for your life. It’s hard to write all that has transpired until this day, you have been in the hospital since November 7th. I’m so thankful that you listened to my advise and went to the emergency room that day, we may have had a different outcome than what we are living now. I know this whole ordeal has been rough on you I can’t even imagine how you really felt, the times that we did text and talk to each other you stayed positive and optimistic for a full recovery. The last time we spoke was on Friday November 27th it was brief since it was hard for you to talk due to your shortness of breath. I was able to see you via video through your glass window thanks to your wife before the eventful day of December 1st which was the night that you asked to be intubated and hooked to a ventilator you couldn’t do it on your own anymore and its ok papi.

Since December 1st its been an emotional roller coaster for all of us, so many uncertainties with your health and how your body was not showing much hope for recovery. But family and loved ones kept you in prayers & continue to do so, I even organized a prayer chain for you on Friday, December 4th @ 6pm PST so many people joined in prayer for you at that time from different states, countries, family and strangers were all united by prayer to pray for your healing. It was an amazing and heartfelt experience.

I don’t want to drag the letter too long but I did want to give a update up to now. Papi I have cried so many tears of hurt, fear and happiness through this journey, I have even had many reserved opinions about your wife, but I respect her as your wife even when we do not view things the same way. I truly wish that you were not in this situation but I can’t change what has happened to you, all I can do is have faith and be at peace with whatever happens. I will always advocate for you and do what is best for you no matter what comes my way. I know you are a strong fighter with a purpose to fulfil on this earth unless God has other plans for you because you have told me yourself that you do not fear death. But look at you, you are still hanging on to life and fighting and like one of your favorite Bee Gees song says “Staying alive”.

Today when I spoke to your doctor he even greeted me by name (since I call almost daily) I even heard a smile from him when he gave me update on your health today. He is hopeful, you are showing improvements in your lung function from a test that they had you do for 30 minutes today, that is a start papi and a milestone on the road of your recovery. He is concerned for your heart but they are going to start treating it more aggressively tonight, perhaps take you off one of your heart medications as well. He also mentioned that even with the concerns for your heart, your heart is still not in bad shape. Lets see how you do overnight. Don’t worry mi papi bello I’m keeping family informed on a daily that is an honor for me to do for you. Before I forget today I listened to, “Mi burrito Sabanero”. It brought tears to my eyes and wonderful memories of the holidays growing up, you would always play this song for me.

Love always,

Your daughter

Con mi burrito sabanero, voy camino de Belén

Con mi burrito sabanero, voy camino de Belén

Si me ven, si me ven

Voy camino de Belén

I'm a Honduran & Cuban second generation Latina, born & raised in Long Beach, Ca. I write to heal my inner woes and to release my creative energy into the universe, in the process my hope is to inspire & help others. I’m a advocate for mental health & autism awareness. I love coffee, a sweet red wine, a good read and creating memories with my loved ones.

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