She wakes up to start her day not because she wants to but because she has to. Her eye’s are heavy from the sudden sleep that her body is asking for after a restless night of tossing, turning, fixing her pillow and regulating her body temperature by taking her blanket on and off every hour like a damsel in distress. “Is this what getting older is all about?”
She looks at the clock, she has to get up and reach for that cup of coffee that her body craves. That cup of coffee with the perfect ratio of Columbian roasted brew & Italian sweet creamer awaits for her to give her that jolt of life that her sleep deprived body seeks, even if its for a few hours just like an addict awaits for their morning high. She makes her way to her favorite sitting spot to enjoy her coffee but instead of making way for a productive morning activity like journaling, reading, praying you know the things that you read about that you should do, “To be successful”. Instead she reaches for her phone, her nemesis that robs her from her beautiful time.
Her mind wonders wishing that this wasn’t her reality, “Why can’t it be different? Why can’t I be that bad b***h on IG, she’s even younger than me, making more money than me, look at me I’m disgusting,” she scrolls through her IG feed to only feed into her own insecurities and imperfections she was her own bully. Her un-snatched body from being a vessel for her offsprings and her aging collagen that once was supple and glowed effortlessly is now her own enemy. She goes to her medicine cabinet and reaches for her “happy pills” as she prays for a day without her anxiety that after so many years of its unrudly company it still manages to cripple her reality & halt her happiness. But to keep a sense of control she swallows her pills and goes on with her day.